Firstly, I would like to say Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband. I won't get all sappy or anything because I hate when people do that kind of stuff in public but I will say that I can't believe we have shared 10 years together. In a way, we have really grown up together( we got married when we were 20 and 21) and I feel so lucky and blessed to have you by my side. Happy Happy Birthday and Many, Many More!!
Okay, now for the real topic of this post. Yesterday, we had a meeting with L's school about her behavior in the classroom. Just to give a little background, she has been having difficulty following directions, she has been having tantrums, she has been leaving the classroom, I could go on but you get the idea. She is 6 years old and in 1st grade.
We have done numerous interventions outside of school to help her. She sees an OT, we have put tube in her ears 3x (she is prone to ear infections), taken her to a chiropractor (because of ear infections), started her with a social worker, gotten her a full psych/academic eval, are taking her to a neurologist because she has sleep issues (we think). I think that might be it, but I could be forgetting something. Anyway, the point is we are NOT in denial.
The meeting actually went fine and I think the school is impressed with all the steps we have taken. The point of this post is not talk about the meeting but rather my some feelings I was left with after it was over.
We spent a whole chunk of time talking about how L doesn't like to join the group on the floor when they sit on the floor to listen to a story. We discussed why that might be, how the school/teacher could address it, etc. But I was left feeling-why the heck is this important? Don't get me wrong, I am a teacher and understand full well how classrooms work. I know that I want my child to be taught how to behave appropriately and to learn how to be safe and take responsibility for herself. Where does something like sitting on the floor fall into that? Why does every child have to do the same thing at the same time all the time?
It seems to me that in the educational world of today, we stifle all aspects of a child's individuality. I don't know why, I do know it is easier to teach that way. But it make me sad. I have children that don't fit the mold. They stand out. A lot of the reasons they stand out make them difficult to manage. But I have this feeling that all of these "difficulties" will help them be successful adults when they grow up. They speak their minds. They think for themselves and have opinions. They have lots of energy. Why would I want to squash these parts of their personalities just to have them be like everyone else?
Yesterday's meeting helped me realize that even though my child has "issues" I am proud of her! I am learning to appreciate all aspects of my children even if the rest of the world doesn't.
5 comments:
You are like the fourth person I know who has someone with a b-day today. February 4th is apparently popular, so of course I had my own that day 5 years ago.
I totally agree about sitting on the floor thing. We take for granted asking kids to sit on a floor and crane their neck to look up at a book which is usually a lot higher, being that most teachers would never sit on the floor. And certainly, not each kid takes to everything the same (which does not necessarily indicate a special problem) There is a difference between teaching children structure and stifling them. Good for you, that you are aware of these things and doing all you can.
RANT START:
Hon, you nailed it!
"They speak their minds. They think for themselves and have opinions. They have lots of energy."
You know what those qualities you listed? LEADERSHIP qualities. We, as a society (and unfortunately in the Jewish school systems particularly- we can’t seem to get our exceptionally large heads out of our… ahem) are crippling ourselves from producing a robust wealth of true leaders.
Instead, our children are forced into a very rigid, unforgiving, and severely outdated system that is focused on removing all possible responsibility from the teachers and administrator(s).
That's why videos like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6cOp6EDFlI speak for themselves and literally being tears to my eyes (I digress: a real man isn’t afraid to cry, but it take a bigger man to laugh at that man – Jack Handy). The humbling lesson I learned: Take a person that you wouldn't think would be capable JUST because they don't seem to fit the bill, and look what happens, look at the feedback response, look at the outcome.
Go observe a blind man walking down a street or negotiating the isles of a store; then try it for yourself. Its tough to succeed when the framework doesn’t support you, huh? Imagine being blindfolded constantly - we would be forced to spend more energy, incur punishment and failure, and eventually adapt, probably not without a support structure.
Success should NOT just be measured by how well you work in a system, but also how well you work despite of a system. This idea is diametrically opposed to the “wonderful” education methodologies (both secular and religious) currently in place in our society.
RANT FINISH
Oh yeah…
…Happy birthday to me, that’s the way it should be, happy birthday dear Yitzy, happy birthday to me!
Your comments are very astute.
I'm so proud of you for realizing each daughter's personality and guiding them to be the very best they can be.
Also, you must realize that society wants everyone to conform, instead of having individuality.
As a mom you will constantly have to fight for your children at school. I hate to say this but their are very few special teachers around who will take the time to work with a child who is capable but requires a little more attention. I can't wait until the girls are grown and see what they become - strong, personable, smart and mature and as Yitzy says "leaders."
E, I consider you one of the few special teachers and hope you do the same for your students.
Remember, teachers can make or break a student.
I am going to fill in my own blank. I was waiting for the sappy stuff!
Wow. Could not agree with you more. We are so nervous about always wanting our child to conform and fit the mold of what is acceptable. Who decided what that mold is? Why is the way our schools are structured something we just accept? I also have a child who does not fit the mold and I dream of homeschooling my kids.....but it will never happen. It just isnt accepted in our community. Plus i might go crazy :)
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