this time of year

what i am doing with my time:

cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning.

lists, lists, and more lists.

i like making lists but in this case i feel like it just showcases all that i need to do, they keep getting longer, not shorter. i did find last year's lists/menus so it should help. also, (gasp!) i am getting some cleaning help (i don't have a cleaning lady during the rest of they year).

errands, errands, and more errands

haircuts, haircuts, and more haircuts

work, work, and more work (iep paperwork just keeps getting longer)

spring break is coming!! yay, all of pesach will be spent at home and with my family which doesn't happen often (usually i have to work during chol hamoed).

worrying about all the school budget cuts happening all over the city.

hoping i will still have a job next year (i am pretty sure i will but you just never know).

researching gardening/ how to grow plants in my backyard..

more later. . .

accountability, etc.

I'm finally getting around to writing about accountability.


This is a very important topic for me as it seems to rear it's ugly head almost daily in my life.


A few weeks ago after report cards came out some of my students had D's and F's on their report cards. Now, anyone who knows anything about special ed knows that it is really not ok to put those kinds of grades on a report card of an IEP student. Why? Because that usually means something is wrong in the IEP and it's not working. And usually I agree with that. I just don't see a lot of point in giving special ed students failing grades-they are already working extra hard.


But what about when the grades are already modified (changed to help the student succeed)? And they are receiving all the modifications and accommodations listed in their IEP? So, simply put they are just not doing the work that is expected of them. What happens then? Philosophically speaking, is giving them a passing grade in that situation appropriate? It's certainly not the way real life works.


Just to backtrack for a minute: I have mentioned before that I work in "the ghetto." (please don't be offended-my students call it that). And my students more than any other in the school are lacking so many things-money, family support(emotional), sometimes even food and clothes. So I understand that there are many factors that get in the way of their success. However, when do I stop making excuses for them and start to demand responsibility?


I truly feel that constantly lowering my expectations for responsibility does no one any good. It just continues the cycle of entitlement and the feeling that they don't have to try because there will be no real consequences for their actions. I think our society has completely enabled people with labels, people who fall in the special ed category. It's not a free pass. But I think that has trickled down from society. Students with disabilities need different things (hence, the individualized part of the IEP). Certainly they should have full and complete access to what they need. But that does not mean there are no consequences. Good or bad. Maybe the consequences will be different from others. But there are still certain results as a cause of specific actions. Whether or not it is because of a disability.


I'm getting a little off topic because I really want to focus on a situation that happened with a student that has an IEP but what happened is not a result of her disability. So here goes. An eighth grader I teach got a D in writing last quarter. I had been in touch with her parents over the course of that time (when she was missing assignments) and so it should not have been a surprise to them when she received that grade. Why did she get that grade? Simply because she did not turn in any work. Writing is difficult for her. However, she barely qualified for special ed services and organization is not an issue that is addressed in her IEP. And yet, the parents want to blame me and say that it is because I am not doing my job (they didn't actually say that, but it was implied). It is always easier to blame someone else than actually deal with the real problem. Anyway, besides the fact that I was personally offended (I work my butt off!!) they are doing their daughter such a disservice. She always has some sort of excuse why something isn't done (too noisy, couldn't finish it-the computer isn't working, etc.). She also tells her parents one thing and her teachers something different. So she is manipulative and trying to get out of work that she has to put more effort into to achieve a satisfactory result. She absolutely earned that grade. But am I not supposed to give it to her just because she has an IEP?


The grade stands and the principal supports me. And I documented myself well (note to teachers reading this-document, document, document so you CYA). There was a little more drama involved because they went behind my back to get sympathy and agreement from other staff members. However, it actually ended fine so far because it is not about me. It is about what is best for the student. Ultimately I want my students to be successful and however that needs to happen I will do it. But it is hard to do this job and feel like you are not helping, only enabling. I hate that.


Unfortunately, progress reports come out next week so the cycle will just repeat itself again. UGH. . . not looking forward.

Stepping off soapbox for now. . .

In some other news:

My sister had a baby boy on Sunday!!! Yay!! She made it to 36 1/2weeks! I'm going to the bris this weekend without any children. We'll see if I get to relax at all.

Little T lost her first tooth this week! She has a gap now in the bottom of her mouth.

Purim was low-key which is just the way I like it! I'll upload some pics soon!

Busy week and it is just getting busier as we move closer to Pesach!

I'm still here, are you?

Blogging is hard work. Unfortunately, all the other work in my life lately has been hard also, so of course blogging was put on the back burner. But I am still here and let me catch you up so far.

Working backward. . .

3 out of 4 of the kids have been sick lately, nothing major but just bad enough that they can't go to school. Which is ugh.

Husband had the stomach flu (food poisoning?) on Thursday which meant I was doing my stuff and his to take care of the kids. Made all of Shabbos before work on Friday (woke up at 5) and then went to work and had a full day. Whew, was I tired.

Have had crazy amounts of IEP's to write and am still not done. I truly dislike 8th grade IEP's, all the transition paperwork is such a pain to make up write. I also had a parent meeting with the principal, that's a whole post in itself. Just to sum it up, just because a student has a disability doesn't mean they can't be lazy! But it's always easier to blame the teacher. Like I said it's a whole other post which I really hope I get time to write soon!



I might have a future pro bowler for a daughter. We took the kids bowling on President's Day. It was the first time we took them (Big T went with school but it was the other girls first time ever). Little T kicked all our butts! And the ball was almost as big as her! And I know it's not a fluke because we recently aquired a Wii and the kids have been bowling and she is beating us all on the game too.

Funny story: At dinner one night Little T asked me to put "creases and wrinkles" in her hair. It took us a while to figure out she really meant curls. Sometimes she uses the funniest vocabulary. That, combined with her individualistic personality makes for some funny conversations (she also recently started calling me "momster").

All I've got time for now. Hope you haven't forgotten me!!

Pics, Pics, and more Pics

I am not a domestic person. My mom used to worry about me when I was younger that I would never be able to cook for myself much less anybody else. And forget about laundry. I just could never figure out how to do it (even with a cheat sheet hung up next to the machine).



But necessity is the mother of invention and all that. . . So now I cook and bake and have actually gotten pretty good at it. But I am not "Suzy Homemaker" and come home from a long day of work and make super exciting food because I enjoy it. I don't enjoy it. I do it. Because I have to. Or we would starve. And I would get arrested for neglecting my children.



But every once in a while comes an occasion that brings out my creativity. And so I present to you. . . my version of a rainbow cake (the cake is even made from scratch)!! Now I am NOT a perfectionist and do not want to be one. And I was not trying to copy anything else except for the colors. It is MY attempt at this type of cake and I am pretty proud that I pulled it off (thanks, honey for the help!!)

Here are 2 parts of the cake in the process of being put together. There were also yellow and blue but I got tired of taking pictures.

Here is the finished cake. It's for 2 of the girls because their birthdays are 3 days apart. So they have a combined party. I did the writing on the cake-I think I am getting better at it!

Side view of the cake.

And here is a cute pic of the baby I just took a few days ago. We are in the "up the stairs, down the stairs" stage. I just looooooove that face!!

Hopefully, I'll get a up a few more pics later. That's all for my creativity for now.

I know I've been gone a long time

How have I let so much time go by since I last posted? I'm sorry to anyone who actually enjoys reading this. I haven't forgotten my blog. I've just been focusing on life a little bit these past few weeks.


Work has been pretty hectic. It's IEP season (which means tons of paperwork), and standardized test season AND spring fever seems to have come on a little early this year with the students!! No one wants to do any work (me included) so I have been doing a little convincing and A LOT of cajoling! Even in my own house the girls are itching to play outside, they are literally climbing the furniture on a daily basis. And they are not getting along well at all-because they are literally in each other's faces all the time. Having sisters is a having built in playmates, but they want to play together even when they are annoyed with each other. What's up with that?


We have also been feeling playdate/sleepover insanity!! The girls were asking soooooo much to have playdates and also sleepovers that we had to make a rule. NO playdates during the week! At all. And they have to stop asking. Maybe it sounds mean but it was taking over our lives and not in a good way. We are too busy during the week to add more distractions. Of course, I am happy that my daughters have friends. That is something we don't struggle with.


We also had parent-teacher conferences for the middle two girls, Lulu and Little T. They went so well! The girls are happy, they are learning, and the teachers are happy with them. Not even one complaint. When the teacher see something that could potentially become an issue, they find ways to problem solve with the child. Lulu has "concentration endurance" issues (she has a hard time completing a task for an extended time). But they build in breaks and allow her to work on other learning topics and then return to the original task. And when she completes her work, she is completing it well! Little T has really emerged as a leader and loves to learn. She is completing multiplication problems (with hands-on material) because she wants to and she understands it! She's only just turned 6. We walked out of the conferences feeling so good about our choice to send them to this school. We thought we made the right decision and the conferences really confirmed it. Yay! Now if we could only win the lottery so we could pay for it! Ha!


On a different topic, we recently had the opportunity to have some guests for Shabbos lunch at our house. A couple that we do not know well. They are recently married (within the year) and kinda, sorta invited themselves to our house. Although that in itself is an issue, let's forget about that. When the man spoke to my husband he said he had food allergies (food dye). Well, the lunch was set up for 3 weeks since the time we spoke at shul so we forgot about it for a while. Thursday of this past week I emailed the wife to find out if this was the week and if so, are they coming? She responded late that night saying yes, she was sorry she hadn't confirmed earlier in the week, she was emailing her husband's food guidelines. Food guidelines? What the heck does that mean?


I found out when I opened an attachment that was about a page long listing all the things he could not eat/ what he could eat. I am not joking-the list included such things as "will eat green beans but only with lots of flavor, so if steamed don't bother making them.'' It did also say things he couldn't eat: challah bought from the bakery (dye), pistachios, anything with msg (listed all the ways that could be listed in food items), margarine, chocolate, and it went on and on. There were also many vegetables he could not eat as well.


What do you think I did with this information? I immediately emailed her and then called her to say that the menu had already been planned and the food made. There was not one thing he could eat, based on the food we made (deli roll, cholent-has potatoes, kugels with marg, etc.). So I told her that. There were even pistachios in the salad we were having. She tried to figure out a way to still come, but while trying that did not offer to make food to bring with them (except rolls). During the course of the conversation, it did become clear that he is sensitive to much of this food-they are not all allergies.


Oh my gosh. Seriously? Can someone really think it is ok to give a list like that a night before shabbos? Or even at all? Honestly, I felt resentment and irritation. I don't normally read ingredients on items I buy. That is time intensive for me to do simply for one shabbos meal . It is also costly to buy things I don't usually buy (earth's something or other margarine). Why should I have to do that? Which leads me to the mitzva of hachnasas orchim (inviting guests). How far do I have to go? As far as I can tell, there is no real reason they NEED to go out for meals. It's not like a single person who can't cook for themselves. They have a home. I know I am assuming, but because I am so sensitive to others when I enter their homes, I feel like it is a total lack of sensitivity on their part to have those sorts of expectations about the food. Additionally, when I have guests in my home I am (maybe extra) sensitive to their needs and would not feel comfortable serving them food they can't eat.


I could very well be wrong. But my resentment is still there. And I don't think it's going away any time soon.


Whew, it felt better to get that off my chest!


I do just need to acknowledge that it has been a little more than a year since I started this blog. I really appreciate all the readers and all the readers that comment. I never thought I would like doing this but it really has become not just fun, but important to me.


Thank you, Thank you!

Sometimes early isn't a good thing

I'm not sure if I have mentioned this previously but my sister is expecting a baby around the middle/end of March.

Last week, she started having contractions and is now on bed rest. She is 30 weeks along. Even on bed rest (and medicine) she is still having contractions.

Her son came at 35 weeks and we are all praying for her to make it that long.

That's why I am letting everyone know.

If you can say some Tehillim (psalms) for her or any other davening (praying) I would truly appreciate it (and I know she would too)!

Her name is Miriam Yaakova bas Sora Chana.

Hopefully, Hashem will help that baby stay nice and cozy in there for a lot longer!

Progress update, etc.

So, I made this great list about what I intend to do. But how is it going?

Pretty well if I do say so myself. And it's my blog so I do say so.

Menu planning has been happening, 2 weeks at a time. It really helps to do it that way, technically I only have to go grocery shopping once every 2 weeks if I do it right. Of course, milk and produce still need to be gotten but that's a relatively quick errand.

Making double of some meals is also wonderful. I really wish I had started that earlier in my married life!! I now have a tuna casserole, tray of enchiladas, and a lasagna in my freezer waiting to be eaten. I really have to thank my husband for helping with this-he made the enchiladas and the lasagna (with the kid's help!) and that was totally appreciated! I also made homemade minestrone soup in the crockpot last week and I have some of that in the freezer also. Hopefully, I can keep up the momentum. This little bit of extra planning makes the evenings run sooooooo much more smoothly.

Cleaning is more challenging for me. I seem to do it in bursts-it's all or nothing. I am too tired at night after I come home from work to do more than dinner, dishes, laundry. So I am still figuring this part out. We did do a TON of cleaning this weekend, so the house is clean and it's amazing how much weight gets lifted off my shoulders. Of course, the cleanliness doesn't last long with 4 kids and snow, but at least it's clean for a few minutes.

Since the evenings are running more smoothly, I have more time to spend with the girls and that makes them happy. Which makes me happy. Big T and I went to a mother-daughter event at her school and we actually had a nice time. We made a project together (a topiary-great for my artistic daughter), ate snacks, and played a game. When I asked her what her favorite part of the evening was I expected to hear about the project. But she said "spending time with you mommy." Sometimes they can just make me all mushy inside. Here's another mushy moment:

So now I have been mulling over another idea. Among the blogs I read, this one has an interesting challenge going on right now. She calls it Eat From The Pantry Challenge. The premise is that for the month her family is only buying produce, milk, and perishables. When I first read this, I scoffed at it. I thought it was crazy. But the more I thought, the more it made sense. And the reason it made sense to me is that that wonderful holiday Pesach (Passover) is just around the corner. As I have built up quite a stockpile of such items as pasta, pancake mix, cereal, and canned goods, not to mention the chicken I have in the freezer; I thought it would be an opportune time to use these food items. I an NOT making rules for myself, I am just going to try to really work hard at planning my menus around these items. Wish me lots of luck-I'll keep you posted on my efforts. ( I know my husband will be REALLY happy, besides for the saving $$ part, he wants the closet where I keep the food surplus for a huge fish tank-now he has hope of getting it).

We celebrated 2 birthdays this past week. Big T turned 9 and Little T turned 6!! That is just plain craziness, where has the time gone? Big T has now earned her nickname, she is just 6 inches shorter than me! Granted that is not hard to do considering I am less than 5 feet tall, but still. She's only 9!! I kinda feel like I am growing up with her (as a parent). I don't know how to parent a child this old, I've never done it before!! Hopefully, I won't make too many mistakes!

But back to the birthdays. They each got to pick the dinner on the night of their birthday. Subway and enchiladas!! We've certainly branched out from pizza and hot dogs (although they are my husband's children-they usually ask for steak)! We are planning to have a small family party soon, so I plan to put some pics up then.

That's all for now. Hope everyone is having a good week!!